what do I do?

In one week, I get on a plane bound for the UK and when we leave Australian Immigration, I have to complete a form and there is one box that has me totally flummoxed.

I don't know what to put in the Occupation box. Part of me wonders does anybody care or is it just me? I think it is because I have always struggled with this question. It defines who I am. It holds me back, it boxes me in and ultimately, it tears me apart. You see I have never really had one single word that described me..more especially right now fully.
 
If I go by what I am trained to do, what I have the piece of paper to say I am - I would write Social Worker but in truth I haven't been a social worker since 1987 so that won't do. Ever since 1987 I have written Manager in the box because all my job titles between 1987 and 2010 had the word 'Manager' in the name. But I am not a Manager any more because we sold the work I managed two years ago.

Now truth be known I am "In Transition". Since we sold our Business, I have been taking some time to decide what to do next - If they accept 'Unemployed' as a definition, perhaps I could put 'In Transition' in the box. I fear this is what makes me feel so stuck, "In Transition" is no wo-man's land, a place of uncertainty, a purgatory of sorts, floating about unsure of my direction.

If I look at what takes up the majority of my time I should put Home Duties (Cook, Cleaner, Mother & Wife) but that is not how I define myself. Oh no - I am not a person defined by Home Duties - no, no, no (well that settles that!)

If the question really is how do you earn money? I would write Company Director. We have a company with funds that pay my way.

But really the question What is my Occupation?

Dictionary.com say this is defined as

1. a person's usual or principal work or business, especially as a means of earning a living; 

2. any activity in which a person is engaged.

3. possession, settlement, or use of land or property.

4. the act of occupying.

5. the state of being occupied

 

So I think the crux of this question is,  what engages me? well right now I am engaged in becoming a writer, a blogger, a photographer, a quilter and an artist.

 

Interestingly, I feel like all of those names define me except Writer - that is the one I struggle with, hide from and feel I am completely hopeless at achieving.

 

Besides, there aren't enough boxes to write all of these, so I am a Creator. Dictionary.com gives me some options here- a person who creates is a Creator but a female person who creates is a Creatress or a Creatrix.

 

So from this day forth I am a Creatress and in brackets (Writer) because I think if I write the word often enough I will eventually grow into my belief that I can do it..one day..It may sound pretentious, but I think naming ourselves helps clarify who we are in the world. I am going to try this one on for size.