one week and away

In one week, we will be heading overseas and I feel so unprepared. Normally I am over-organised and tightly prepared but this time, I am almost reluctant.

Last year my husband and I travelled for three months across Turkey, Greece, Croatia, Spain and Morocco with side trips to London and Paris and a final two weeks in New York and San Francisco. It was the trip of a lifetime with a wonderful balance of culture and art, together with planned excursions to walk and ride bikes, a meeting with old friends and a much anticipated art course in Marrakesh. Sadly it didn't all go to plan.

My hubby developed very painful bursitis in the hip the week before we left and after several cortisone injections found the pain beginning to diminish as we boarded the plane. He took time out to rest in Turkey and was just finding his energy return in Santorini when he injured his knee. The next month felt like hard work as I worried a lot and took the load helping him. I can see how I behaved like a warrior taking on the world, shouldering the burdens and pushing through to solve what needed to be done.

When we arrived in Marrakesh to attend my art course "Painting for the Petrified", I was thrilled. Our whole trip had been planned around the timing of this course.  On the first day, my leg became severely swollen. I had developed a DVT. Luckily, we were part of a tour so I was supported and assisted by our local guide who became my interpreter and lifeline to understanding the medical service in this foreign country.

When I was discharged from hospital, I was issued with sufficient injectable heparin to get me home and after an incredibly stressful negotiation with the travel insurance company in Australia, finally managed to resume our journey.

Back home, I was struck with a profound sense of vulnerability. I was well but my body had thrown me a curve ball, totally unexpected and out of the blue. I didn't handle this feeling of helplessness well. My body has continued to challenge me for the next twelve months. I have experienced a series of new, mysterious and unexpected body issues;
1.   First there was the pain similar to electric shocks in my jaw which turned out to be nerve pain related to my TMJ (temporomandibular joint or the hinge in my jaw). This resolved after chiropractic treatment but not before I was multi-checked by my dentist and a neurologist
2. My knee became severely swollen after a normal gym work out needing intensive physio.
3. After scrubbing the floor, my hand and two fingers became numb and tingling diagnosed as bruised nerve and took two months to heal.
4. Then my back went into severe spasm and took two weeks of treatment to settle and relax.
5. Just as I was recovering from all these, I slipped on some rocks while taking a photo and landed heavily on my elbow. After five months of treatment and rehabilitation, I have been told that I require shoulder surgery and six months rehabilitation.
 
I am struggling to accept my physical vulnerability. None of these problems on their own are big issues but together, in sequence, they have left me feeling a little fearful and unsure.

But in one week we are going overseas, to visit family in the UK, to reconnect with loved ones, to explore new scenery and take some wonderful photos, so I am having a wee chat with myself.. and this is what I am working on..

 I promise to

1. be mindful, stay present and enjoy the moment

2. loosen my iron grip of control and submit to the universe..

3. take care of and be easy on myself

 
I will let you know how I fare..