It was Sunday morning when I arrived at my local
favourite coffee shop for my morning skim flat white. Our heavily pregnant owner / barista, Sam was having a
quiet melt down. She rolled her eyes and said, "I thought we could manage
with just the two of us today, but we have been flat out since we opened the
door".
I commiserated and watched feeling helpless as they scurried to and fro; juggling orders, payments and coffee making. Looking at the line of coffee cups waiting and then the queue of new customers behind me, I said, "It's going to take a
while to make my coffee so how about I take some orders and collect
payments".
To the surprise of the other customers, I
grabbed some takeaway cups and the texta and took down some orders. Everyone
had big notes to pay and Sam's small change pot was not sufficient.
"I need to get some more
change", I said.
"Go for it," she replied, "Press the red button on the till and
help yourself", .
Behind the till, counting out
change, I sorted notes and coins and topped up her change pot until she said,
"Thanks Jen, here is your coffee."
"Sorry, I can't stay longer", I said.
"It is OK, that has been a great
help", she said with a smile. "See you tomorrow."
Sam was smiling again, the
customers felt seen and as a bonus I had a spring in my step.
A tiny random act of kindness turned out to be a game changer.
Sonja Lyubomirsky in The How of Happiness says "Research (shows)..people who are consistently grateful have been found to be relatively happier, more energetic and more hopeful". She suggested making a note of things you appreciate every day.
This seems so simple that it couldn't possibly make a substantial difference. Two years ago when my husband and I were going through the stress of selling our business, we found ourselves becoming angry and bitter towards to the new owners and the way they were changing the service we had nurtured for 20 years.
Desperate to try anything to break our negative nexus, we started an evening gratitude ritual. As we sat in bed at night, we recalled 5 things that we were grateful for during that day.
Some days it was hard to find the five things. We pushed ourselves to pay attention to the little things that made us smile. When we resorted to yesterday's list as a cop-out, we tried to help each other remember something positive the other had experienced during the day. It worked. We both found our moods soften and ease with this simple strategy.
Now we use it on good days and bad to remember the fragments of beauty that float through our awareness.
Some of the things in my gratitude journal back in 2009 were
- cuddling in the soft warmth of my winter doona
- fresh pink blossoms on the camellia
- the autumnal leaf caught in a spider web
- a (rare) loving hug from my nineteen year old son
- the smell of fresh coffee at my favourite cafe
- my husband's corny joke
- waking before dawn for an early walk
This week I am grateful for
- delicious feedback on my first blog entries
- my first taste of kingfish sashimi
- the crunchy texture of my new "rainbow" salads
- warm sunshine on my skin
- the patter of gentle rain in the evening
- my husband's joy as he completes his first woodworking project
- my evening walk turns into a light jog again
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| Reflections January 2012 |
