Letting go

When I go on holiday, one of the treats that I relish is to have a massage or body treatment. This time, in Noosa as we perused the menus of the different spas, I was drawn to the item described as the Dead Sea Ritual.

It was a two part process; the first involved a float in a salt pool in a private room followed by a body scrub and mud mask to refresh my skin.

The float promised to deliver the equivalent of 4 hours sleep in a one hour float. Struggling with sleep deprivation, this seemed like the perfect antidote with the added bonus of having soft smooth skin after the mud wrap.

I love the feel of soft smooth skin when it has been scrubbed and sloughed and smoothed and creamed. Sometime, I find it hard to believe it is mine when I run my hand over a baby soft thigh after a treatment. Aah but I digress.

My husband chose the more manly option of the spa pool, sauna and a deep tissue massage for his tense muscles.

Booked in, the only instruction was to bring our swimming costumes for the float and the spa pool. All else would be provided.

On arrival, we were treated to a drink of lemon and lime juice, to start our detox process, I can only guess. It was tart and tingling but yummy. I love tart fruits and juices.

After changing into my costume and robe, I was shown into the private float room. A large bathing pool with about a foot of water lay before me. My guide explained that the pool is treated with a high density of salt and so I will float. Once I am settled, the lights will dim and only twinkling stars will be seen overhead. (I could choose total darkness but my anxiety led me to choose some light). It is necessary to lie back and stay flat in the pool as sitting up or causing excessive motion will set off the sensors and bring attendants rushing to my aid. As this is a private room, you can choose to be naked or wear your swimming costume, I am told. I choose modesty even though I am quite comfortable with nudity.

Earplugs will protect my ear canals from the salt. If my neck aches, just place my arms behind my head for support, I am told. The attendant leaves saying the lights will come back on in one hour, but if I doze off, she will come and fetch me.

I step into the pool and wonder how I will ever float here. Lying back though I find that yes, I really do float. My legs stretch out naturally, my head feels rested, it is just my arms that seem uncomfortable. I place them by my side, but my elbows ache. Folded on my stomach seems OK until my neck aches. I gently move my arms up behind my head and yes it does give some relief.

I am conscious of my swimming costume, everything about me is brought into hyper-awareness. The stars are too bright. The costume cuts into my shoulder. (Note to self; next time choose nudity and darkness)

Floating around, I start to think, how long have I been here? How long have I got? I need a clock to see how time is passing..

Can't sit up, Can't check the clock, all I can do is wait and float. I seem to rotate ever so gently beneath my twinkling canopy. I can see different perspectives of the room. I am supposed to be relaxed but I feel agitated.

Then I realise, this is about giving in, letting go and relinquishing control.

I am not so good at this. I start to think about the few times in my life when I have actually accepted and given in and relinquished control. Not often. I remember another spa bath, twenty two years ago as I sat submerged in deep water feeling the water soothe the labour pains and contractions as I gave birth to my son. Yes that was one of the few times, I remember having to let go and just go with the flow as my body delivered a new life onto this planet.

So I just have to go with the flow I close my eyes. I tell myself to let go and relax. It seems like seconds pass and the lights come back on. I must have dozed off.

It's over I realise. My gosh, where did that hour go? It is as if the seconds and minutes simply evaporated into the ether.

I sit up, shower to remove the salt and robe up to go to the relaxation room. Lying back on the recliner chair I think, I could sleep forever, I close my eyes again. My limbs are heavy and I am sinking into the chair.

I hear my name being called, time for your mud wrap. I stagger to the treatment room where I am scrubbed, scraped, caked in mud, steamed and rinsed. While I am in the mud infusion, my head is massaged in a way that seems to release all the remaining tension from my limbs. "How do you feel? asks my treatment therapist. "Like I could sleep forever." She smiles and then helps me to my feet and escorts me to the recovery room.

That night I don't sleep well, it is as though my inner peace has been jangled and jarred by the experience. I am so disappointed. But then I am rewarded, the following night, I sleep the deepest and most refreshing sleep I have had in months. It is as though that first night I was sloughing off the final vestiges of stress and tension that had been residing in my body for the last few months. Now I am allowed to give in and rest, switch on my parasympathetic nervous system, stop being hyper vigilant and always in control...

Another thing I have noticed, maybe it is just the holiday, maybe it is the float but I have come home so focused and clear and creative. I am itching to write and make stuff, I am powering through my to do list and it is in a caring and happy way not a stressed out "this is a burden" kind of way. I feel as though I have a new perspective and I am learning to love the me that I am becoming.

Hmm, this float thing could have something going for it. I think I will definitely try it again.




Full moon Noosa beach with birds and boat. Nov 2012