Glass Bottles

When we were in London last year, wandering around the British Museum in the Turkish/Moroccan section, I saw these glass bottles. The light illuminated them perfectly and I was enraptured. I am dreaming of turning this picture into a quilted wall-hanging, if only I could work out how to do it. Design ideas keep swirling in my sleep.

Glass Bottles British Museum London

In the Metropolitan Museum in  New York, I kept circling back to the Tiffany Glass - pictures fashioned in stained glass. Again I thought of creating these pictures in fabric.

Year before last, in Noosa, Queensland, I spied these Mason jars filled with flowers and hanging from trees at a wedding reception. So simple and lovely

 

Now I find my eye is drawn to glass jars and bottles in homewares shops and on Pinterest.

So much so I've started a Pin board on glass bottles - just to get a gallery of shapes to work with.
http://www.pinterest.com/jennyfisher3/glass-bottles/

Hmm, think there is a drawing or design bubbling in the background here or maybe just a need to be creative with glass.

sculpture at dawn

The alarm went at 4.45am this morning and it signalled our early morning adventure. Sydney hosts an annual open air sculpture exhibition along a popular coastal walk. Today we were going to photograph the outdoor art at dawn.

Other photographers, joggers and early risers were also on site but it was nothing like the wall to wall people who attend during normal sociable hours. It was so special to be able to take our time to enjoy each piece and use the morning light to capture our favourite shapes. Back home at the computer it is the silhouettes that have caught my eye.

"Sea nest" Oct 2012

Detail of "Mengenang" Oct 2012

Detail of "Mirador" Oct 2012

"Transition" Oct 2012

Colouring with nature's beauty

A few years ago I was introduced to eco-dyeing by my friend Deb Clarke on one of her art making adventures in the remote areas around Alice Springs, Northern Territory. There camping in swags on ancient lands with Larapinta Creative Camps, by day we would roam the local bush in search of suitable plants to use for fabric dyeing on the campfire at night.

Now back home, I have collected local leaves and flowers and created my dyeing practice on a small gas burner on my back deck.

Recently on a visit to a friend's farm, I collected a huge bag of pods from the Cootamundra Wattle tree. My test on these pods produced a gorgeous purple pink colour. Purple being my absolute favourite colour, I was excited about the potential.

Seed pods of the Cootamundra Wattle Oct 2012

 

Alas, I waited too long (2 weeks) and the pods have aged and lost their colour. However, I decided to try dyeing with them, in case the colour was forthcoming. I also tried a number of new folding techniques to get patterns as well as layered leaves to give imprinted effects. The scarves are silk and they take to eco-dyeing very well. I am off to the country again this weekend so I will be on the lookout for some fresh wattle pods! This time, I will try freezing them to preserve the colour. This is how you preserve flower petal colour for dyeing. I'll keep you posted.

 

Silk Scarves dyed using the wattle pods Oct 2012

 

 

 

Paddock Art

Driving home from Lou's place, we decided to take a different road through the deliciously named towns of Cumnock and Molong. We do have some lovely names for places in Australia. (Note to self this is an idea for a blog post)

Imagine our delight as we drove along this road, there interspersed among the gum trees and the paddocks of golden canola in bloom were sculptures of animals on bicycles. First we saw a fish, then a horse. Soon I was calling out, "Stop stop, I have to take a photo".

The sculptures ranged from the truly professional to the more amateurish but each of them brought a smile to our faces. Cartoon characters mixed it with Australian animals, more serious forms alongside the humorous. Then we started seeing bits of bike up a tree and stuck on a sign. Soon our focus was on spotting the next surprise.

Corrugated iron sheets cut into impossible shapes, old rainwater tanks and tin cans painted crazy colours, disused parts of farm machinery and lots of bikes; a superb recycling into art.

There is a bush poem by an Australian poet, "Banjo" Patterson called "Mulga Bill's Bicycle", could this be the inspiration?

'Twas Mulga Bill, from Eaglehawk, that caught the cycling craze;
He turned away the good old horse that served him many days;
He dressed himself in cycling clothes, resplendent to be seen;
He hurried off to town and bought a shining new machine;
And as he wheeled it through the door, with air of lordly pride,
The grinning shop assistant said, "Excuse me, can you ride?"

Needless to say, Mulga Bill ended up in lots of trouble as later verses show

He turned the cycle down the hill and mounted for the fray,
But 'ere he'd gone a dozen yards it bolted clean away.
It left the track, and through the trees, just like a silver streak,
It whistled down the awful slope towards the Dead Man's Creek.

The last sculpture where we stopped was of Hod Rod Henny with a sign saying you could find more information at http://www.animalsonbikes.com.au/

Such a great idea creating "Paddock Art". Loved it.

On being self conscious

A couple of years ago, I had to give a 3 minute speech at a leadership workshop on "something I was passionate about/ had taught me a lesson / gave me insight". Here is what I said..

Imagine this -a nine year old girl in pink flannelette pyjamas. She wraps her bath towel around her head and fashions it into beautiful hair. She sashays down the hallway. "Hey I’m Ginger", she says "from Gilligan’s Island".
 

That was me at the age of nine. We hadn’t had TV very long but I had decided that I wanted to be an actress, a star of TV, stage and screen. 

 

At the end of my schooling, I told my career counsellor, I either wanted to be an actress or a social worker. Well, you can guess where she pointed me. My career highlight of playing Sir Toby Belch in Twelfth Night somehow hadn’t convinced her of my undeniable acting talent. 

Throughout Uni, I chose all the drama electives and produced and played in the Uni Revues but still those voices in my head kept saying – "it’s not a proper job, you aren’t really good enough, you’ll be waiting tables more than acting so…"
 

I said good bye to my favourite character parts like Petunia Dell Arte in the Uni Revue and my clown persona called Certain. I wrapped my secret ambition in tissue paper and packed it away in my closet of Secret Dreams.
 

I then embarked on my cerebral journey though Social Work, Management and Business.
 

Many years later during the Hoffman Process, when the participants were invited to give me feedback, one man said “You should do acting. You are so interesting to watch. You have to do this now”.
 

My jaw dropped. I hadn’t mentioned acting once. How had he seen into my Closet of Secret Dreams. Buoyed by this information, my heart lifted and a little voice in my head said "It is time to take out my secret ambition and dust it off thirty years after it had been carefully put away".
 

I searched the Internet and found a class – perfect location, perfect time and unbelievably called “The Truth Masterclass” How "Hoffy" I thought. I may have forgotten my acting skills but I had sure been working on my truth.
 

We started working with techniques developed by Sanford Meisner. He says that Acting is behaving truthfully within imagined circumstance”. "This will be a cinch", I thought as I took to the stage for the first time. My Dark Side reared its ugly head and suddenly self consciousness, competitiveness and fear of failure gripped and paralysed me. My heart pounded in my chest, my mouth became dry and sticky. I froze and I failed. I went home and sobbed.
 

Meisner says that self consciousness is the single most destructive force against actors. He says the way to overcome this is to focus on the other actor. When you stop focusing on yourself, you get in touch with your inner truth.
 

The next week I picked myself up and went back again. Realising that this is just another step in my ongoing process of self awareness.- peeling off another layer of patterns to reveal the diamond within….

Now as I take my first tentative steps into the blogging world, I notice I am again self conscious, afraid of failure and letting my fear get in my way. Taking Meisner's view and turning it on its head, maybe in blogging overcoming self consciousness is about tuning into yourself, finding your inner truth and concentrating on that place and forgetting about other bloggers and the audience's reaction, or is it?

Protea petal fuzz September 2012

10 things I have learned

10 things I believed in my twenties

1. I can manage my weight; I may get a little overweight but I'll never get really fat; that is impossible.

2. I doesn't matter if I drink too much, eat what I like and smoke cigarettes;  Alcohol, food and cigarettes calm me down and make me feel better.

3. I am unloveable; I am always attracted to men who don't feel the same way about me.

4. I will never have an "only child"; It is just not right, it isn't normal.

5. I am ambitious; I will have an amazing career and be well known for my professional ability.

6. I am not an exercise fanatic; Sometimes, I throw myself into exercise but I can just as easily choose to be a sloth.

7. I am different; I will never turn out like my mother or father. They are so different to how I imagine myself in the future.

8. I am creative; I am and always will be creative and have this as part of my life. I love performing, I take awesome photographs, I make my own clothes, I will be amazing.

9. I am a city girl; I grew up in a small country town. I never want to live in the country, it is so boring.

10. I will always feel scared and worthless; On the outside, I am confident but underneath this is who I really am.

Twenties and fifties

10 things I know in my fifties

1. I have a healthy attitude to food and exercise and can stay a healthy weight. But it wasn't always so. I was obese when I was at my heaviest. I have lost 36kg since my fattest stage. Now I know I need be mindful and pay attention to the connection between food and exercise and weight.

2. Self soothing with alcohol, food and cigarettes makes me feel worse in the long run. From an emotional over-eater and drinker, I have only recently realised that a walk or meditation is so much more long lasting (and healthier) though I still break out from time to time when I feel overwhelmed.

3. My husband is my best friend; he is generous and loving, (as well as annoying and frustrating) but we share similar interests and care passionately (mostly) about the same things. This is what counts in a relationship.

4. I had one child because I thought a career was more important to me. Many people wished we had more children. I had serious regrets about this in my forties and only recently forgave myself for my choice. I have a wonderful (twenty-two year old) son. I cherish him dearly.

5. My career path took several unexpected turns. I didn't end up heading a government department as I imagined but rather ran a successful business with my husband. We lived together, worked together and often disagreed together and (yes we did) survive together.

6. I love exercise. Now I can't imagine a day without doing some strenuous activity. I love the feeling when I have worked out. About 5 years ago, a walk around the block felt too strenuous.

7. I have my mother's and father's best and worst characteristics and I am working on making the most of the best and the least of the worst..I love them both but still pull myself up hard when I hear myself speak or see myself behave like one of them.

8. I am creative but I have to make time to ensure I don't let it slip into the background. I love making art and photography. It is too easy for me to undervalue my creativity and let it slip.

9. My heart is in the country and this is where I feel most alive. I love country music. I am at peace when surrounded by nature. I yearn for a life where I can have the best of the country and the city where I live.

10. I am worthy, loveable and significant. Five years ago, I did the Hoffman Process and completely re-engineered my feelings of self worth. I moved from being an angry and unhappy critic to a (mostly) loving and (mostly) forgiving woman. My dips into self regret and misery are spaced further and further apart.. Hooray!

one gratitude a day

Sonja Lyubomirsky in The How of Happiness says "Research (shows)..people who are consistently grateful have been found to be relatively happier, more energetic and more hopeful". She suggested making a note of things you appreciate every day.

This seems so simple that it couldn't possibly make a substantial difference. Two years ago when my husband and I were going through the stress of selling our business, we found ourselves becoming angry and bitter towards to the new owners and the way they were changing the service we had nurtured for 20 years.

Desperate to try anything to break our negative nexus, we started an evening gratitude ritual. As we sat in bed at night, we recalled 5 things that we were grateful for during that day.

Some days it was hard to find the five things. We pushed ourselves to pay attention to the little things that made us smile. When we resorted to yesterday's list as a cop-out, we tried to help each other remember something positive the other had experienced during the day. It worked. We both found our moods soften and ease with this simple strategy.

Now we use it on good days and bad to remember the fragments of beauty that float through our awareness.

Some of the things in my gratitude journal back in 2009 were

• cuddling in the soft warmth of my winter doona
• fresh pink blossoms on the camellia
• the autumnal leaf caught in a spider web
• a (rare) loving hug from my nineteen year old son
• the smell of fresh coffee at my favourite cafe
• my husband's corny joke
• waking before dawn for an early walk

This week I am grateful for

• delicious feedback on my first blog entries
• my first taste of kingfish sashimi
• the crunchy texture of my new "rainbow" salads
• warm sunshine on my skin
  
• the patter of gentle rain in the evening
• my husband's joy as he completes his first woodworking project
• my evening walk turns into a light jog again

Reflections January 2012

I am impatient

Earlier this year I did an 8 week print making course. We learned to do dry point etching and solar plate printing.

Each step of the process involved careful preparation of the design, application of the ink and then pressing the print on wet paper.

At the end of each class, I noticed that several of my prints were imperfect; some were crooked, some had a smudge of paint and others looked rushed. One or two were just right.

"Oh, you are so productive", said some of my classmates seeing my 8 works lined up against their perfect 4.

"No", I said. "I am just impatient".

I have been thinking about my impatience and realising that it often gets in my way.

• I rush to cut the vegies and without paying attention, I nick my finger.

• I start a course and when it gets too hard or I feel as though I can't do it, I give up and say it wasn't right for me.

• I start a weight loss program and when I put on weight in the first week, I say "well I am an emotional eater and life is stressful so it is no wonder I can't do it".

• I see lots of possibility and when I get overwhelmed by choice, I do nothing.

 

• When I am in an uncomfortable social situation, I look for an easy escape.

So this week, I am going to pay attention to my impatience, stay with the discomfort, slow down and open up to the unease and see where it leads me.



Printing making samples March 2012

I am good enough

Last night as I lay in bed trying to relax my body into sleep. My brain was in overdrive. Ideas for stories swirled inside my head.

I want to do everything. This is one of my "failings". I am not passionate about just one thing. I want it all.

I want to write about the people who have inspired me; inspired me to write, to experiment with art and photography, to connect with people, to show me insight where there is darkness, to develop my talents in special ways.

I want to share the books or words that I have read that have led me to transform my body, my emotional self and my thinking about the world.

I want to pay attention to the detail. So often when I walk or move through the world I am living inside my head, preoccupied and I miss the tiny beauty in everything around me.

I want to learn to play and have fun and be creative..

Then the blackness comes out of no-where. The inner critic looms..
"there are so many blogs out there," "you can't do this", "give up now before you find that you just aren't good enough".

So I turned over, saddened, disappointed and convinced this was true and went to sleep .

This morning, I have left my inner critic waiting to the side while I take another step into the blogging foray! This time, I intend to persist for now..

"Protea in afternoon light" September 2012